Lately, I’ve been struggling with disappointment in my heart towards God. It stems from what I feel is lack of motion in a particular area of my life. As a result, when I’d go to God in prayer, I’d pray about everything else except this area. It’s like I unconsciously felt that if I touched this area, I’d break, like shattered glass, I’d break all the way down! You see I’d been praying about this desire for what seems like forever so I felt ‘why even bother continuing to pray about it.’ Can you relate? Have you stopped getting your hopes up about something out of fear that God won’t deliver? If so, I want to encourage you..

Yesterday, while praying about something different, I released how I felt. I was vulnerable with God. I laid down at the feet of Jesus this weight of disappointment I’d been hiding in an effort to be positive and stand strong in a false sense of faith.

What led me to this moment is what I hope will lead you to your moment of releasing what you’ve been hiding in the crevices of your heart. 

And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” (Mark 5:34 NLT)

This scripture was a part of my pastor’s message on Sunday. While I've heard it many times, it kind of hit different this time. It’s about the woman with the issue of blood, who tried everything to get help with her situation, but nothing worked. 

I began thinking, ‘how many times did she feel disappointed?’ after getting news after news that her condition would not change! Getting her hopes up only to once again be let down by another failed medical outcome. She was definitely familiar with disappointment. 

However, her faith trumped her feelings. No matter how many times she was disappointed, she pressed her way both figuratively and literally (through a crowd) of people to touch just a hem of Jesus’ coat believing that she’d be healed (Mark 5: 27-28). That’s how much faith she had! She wasn’t going to allow fear, disappointment, or anything to stop her encounter with the one who could heal and set her free.

The bible says that “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). Overtime, disappointment can become bitterness and bitterness can impact our well being. My encouragement to you is not ‘5 steps to get what you’re disappointed about.’ Why? Because there is no formula or magic trick to speeding up God’s process. My encouragement IS this:

allow your faith to carry that file marked disappointed and off limits into the presence of Jesus 

Like the woman with the issue of blood, carry your pain of delay and disappointment to Jesus in honest, vulnerable, open hearted prayer so that he can say make you well. And continue to do this every time those feelings of disappointment rise up again.